Because Butt Sex Is Like a Togetherness Exercise.
It used to be very difficult to get a good wham-bam-thank-ya-mam in the tush when you needed it. Back in the day, butt stuff required a secret handshake, a fat bank account and the type of decision-making skills that started World War II. Considered taboo for several decades, anal sex and foreplay are now more mainstream than ever. These days, the big and beautiful world of anal dildos is only a few clicks away from every Tom, Dick and Harry on Earth. Oh, what a time to be alive.
Couples everywhere are enjoying the anal playground like never before, with a whole host of sex toys to suffice any appetite imaginable. My mama once told me that good sex only happened in the movies. My mama was also a bold-faced liar I come to find out – one that obviously never got laid worth shit by my dad. Butt play has now become the togetherness exercise we’ve all been waiting for, only it’s not exactly an activity exclusive to partners. The right anal dildo can make solo playtime just as amazing, if not better. Plus, using it correctly will enhance the orgasms you already thought you knew everything about.
To fully appreciate what I’m talking about here, you have to understand what an anal dildo is and isn’t. You also need a clear and concise set of guidelines to make sure you don’t veer of the beaten path every time a savvy snake-oil salesman shimmies in your direction. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, and I’ve got the scars to prove it. Proper anal dildo shopping takes a little finesse and by the time I’m done with you, you’ll be pissing finesse every morning. You’re welcome.
What Is an Anal Dildo?
To be quite honest, there isn’t much difference between an anal dildo and a vaginal dildo. Usually, however, anal dildos will feature specific things that make them easier to use during anal sex – suction cups, special shaping, etc. The main idea is for whatever dildo you use to generate a much-needed orgasm, right? Well, any dildo can do that no matter what it’s advertised as, so long as you use it right. My experience with dildos is that they’re all doing pretty much the same thing, so what matters most is your experience with it.
On the other hand, top-notch anal dildos have features that many conventional wonder shlongs simply don’t have, like perineum stimulators and attached cock rings. The right anal playthings can be a lot of fun if you know how to use them correctly, but that requires more knowledge about the subject than you probably have right now. Fortunately, I’m in the business of educating people like you so that we can all have enjoyable and satisfying sex regardless of what hole we like it in. With that said, I’ll be defining “anal dildos” as dildos that could or should be shoved up your ass. That good enough?
Why a Dildo For Anal Sex Though?
First of all, anal dildos are one of the most exciting sex toys to have in your collection. Not only do they say “I’m a freak and I don’t care what you think,” but they also allow you to freely express your sexuality in a safe and effective way no matter who’s in your bed or what’s on your mind. Separating your anal playthings from your penile, vaginal and oral selections is important, but you probably already know that. Get the right anal dildo, though, and you’ll suddenly have access to the following surprising things:
- On-Demand P-Spot Stimulation
There’s no denying that having a good anal dildo in your collection is a boss move. It makes you look like you’re hella experienced in the sack, plus it suffices for an impromptu butt sex session with your favorite partner (should things lead in that direction). Anal dildos are versatile and pleasurable, offering numerous forms of sexual stimulation through skilled use. On-demand anything is good, which makes on-demand anal sex the best thing since sliced bread.
- Enhanced Orgasms
Did you know that there’s another erogenous zone inside your anus that produces its own orgasmic release? Many people believe anal sex is all about dominance and kink, which it can be. But, properly executed anal sex is about so much more. Correctly wielded anal dildos used during skillful anal sex are supposed to remind us of that, should be forget about it in lieu of all the vaginal magic wands on today’s market. Furthermore, precision p-spot stimulation can make for some of the most intense climaxes you’ve ever experienced in your entire life. That’s exactly what all the fuss is about.
- Kinky Experimentation
Haven’t delved into the realm of ass play yet? Well, now is the time to venture out to the large and lovely land of orgasmic opportunity. Good anal dildos allow for some pretty fantastic kink regardless of the user’s gender, sexual orientation or experience level. And today’s best butt play toys come in all shapes and sizes too, making many of them an ideal component to any fully grown sex toy arsenal. When it’s time to get freaky, reach for a well-made sex toy that’s been proven effective ahead of time, it’s as simple as that.
- Customizable DBSM Play
Setting the mood for a good round of BDSM is already hard enough, you don’t need your sex toys to be lacking once your victim takes the stage. Anal dildos are available in countless forms, from small and unintimidating to large and in charge. Depending on what you want to do with yours, it can transform the occasion into something a little more memorable for the both of you.
I don’t like to brag (just kidding, yes I do), but I’ve had my hands on quite a few anal dildos in my day. I know a good one from a bad one like an old lady can tell a good melon from a quick squeeze. It’s a skill I’ve picked up throughout my career as a professional pervert, meaning it’s a body of knowledge not always available to the average person. With that said, I’ve determined that there are at least 5 things that today’s shopper needs to consider before ever going on the prowl for an anal dildo. Those 5 things are as follows:
- Your Skin Type – It’s impossible to find the perfect anal dildo without making careful considerations about your skin type. Sensitive or allergy-laden skins will sometimes react badly to certain dildo materials and/or the lubes that have to be used with them. If you find a product that you like but it’s made from a material that doesn’t agree with your body, see if it’s compatible with condoms.
- You and Your Partners’ Anal Boundaries – This is talking about more than the general size of you and/or your partners’ anal canal. It’s referring to the kinds of personal boundaries you have set up in the bedroom. The idea anal dildo will walk the line between being something you’re used to and being something new. Just don’t go pushing the envelope on what you plan to do unless everyone is on board.
- Your Intended Purposes – Speaking of which, how do you plan to use this new anal dildo of yours? Is it something you want to use on yourself? Is there a partner (or two) involved? How much mileage do you think you’ll get out of the toy in your shopping cart? Will that be enough? These are all questions you need to have answered before moving on.
- Your Lube Stash – The kind of lube you prefer to use is a good thing to know as well, especially considering the fact that many people like to slather on a good silicone-based lube for anal sex because it never dries out. However, most of the good anal dildos require water-based lubes only. Are you ready for responsible dildo ownership? I sure hope so, because lab studies have shown the nastiness that can happen when the wrong lube is used on a sex toy.
- Your Budget – Last but not ever least for most people is the bank account situation that we all must come face-to-face with. Will the anal dildo you like fit in the budget? Is there a payment plan available if it’s expensive? Are you willing to budge a bit if you find something worthwhile? Have a number in mind but don’t be afraid to shift it a tad because you’re bound to find something that makes you say, “Whoa.”
You know a little bit more about the legitimacy of anal dildos and ass play, and since you’ve finally answered the tough questions, so now you can begin searching for the best product in this category. It’s important to do things in this order because otherwise you could end up falling for a clever marketing ploy like so many of us have already. You’re well-equipped to handle the enormous variety that’s about to come your way as long as you don’t skip this next part.
The Top 5 Ways to Tell If That Anal Dildo Is Worth It or Not
Hello everyone and welcome to the next part, where we learn about the five main ways to tell if that anal dildo you’re considering is worth your hard-earned money or not. So without further ado, here goes nothing:
- Check the Size
Obviously, the size of any anal sex toy you use is going to matter quite a bit. However, the size also needs to be taken into consideration under the following circumstances:
- When you use the dildo to have sex with a partner
- When you and/or your partner are new to anal sex/foreplay with toys
- When you’re unsure whether you have enough good lube on tap
- When you need to use a condom with the dildo because of its material, your skin type or another reason
- When you like to experiment with different sensations
The size of your anal dildo will determine how much pleasure you get out it. And unfortunately, there is no average size I can tell you about. However, I do believe newbies should stick to dildos that are less than 5 inches in length with a girth no bigger than 1 inch, or those folks should try a shallow penetration toy until they’re more comfortable with deep anal stimulation. Again, that’s just my opinion and I know that everyone is different. Just remember that “total length” and “insertable length” are two different measurements, okay?
- Consider the Shape
Anal sex/foreplay has a lot to do with p-spot stimulation but that’s not always the only thing that matters. A properly proportioned p-spot dildo is a great thing to have, but the toy needs to produce pleasurable sensations in more ways than one to be worth whatever the manufacturer is asking for it. To determine whether you’ve found a good one, look carefully at its shape. Does it have a pronounced head for increased friction during insertion? Does it have a curved shaft to help find your sweet spots? Is it bulbous in any way, because that shit feels amazing? Remember that the overall shape of your anal dildo is just as, if not more, important as the size and features thereof.
- Be the Ace of Base
The best butt play toys usually have something like a suction cup base or a flared bottom to keep the item from slipping into Neverland. However, that design feature isn’t a steadfast rule in the anal dildo game, nor should it have to be. While a good suction-cup or flared base has it’s merits for safety and convenience (especially for newbies), it can sometimes reduce the amount of kinky things you can do with your dildo. Choose wisely, and don’t let someone else tell you what you need to have a good time.
- Make the Materials Matter
I can’t stress this enough: Your anus is a very sensitive place filled with millions of nerve endings and trillions of bacteria. Therefore, the materials with which your anal dildo is made can’t be overlooked. Whether dealing with lube issues, irritable skin or allergies, the dildo’s outer covering can make or break the deal. Always go for silicone sex things when you can, but metals like gold, silver, titanium, stainless-steel, glass and certain polycarbonate blends are just as gentle on the skin and work pretty well with all lube types.
- See the Feature Presentation
Features play a big role in the perceived quality of any sex toy. When it comes to anal dildos, however, you have to be very careful about what you choose. Vibrations, gyrations and sonic sensations aside, the perfect plaything will have enough features to keep you interested but still be simple enough to keep your love life from spiraling out of control. I prefer my anal dildos without vibrations because I feel like that’s a completely separate thing. That’s why none of the items on the list that follows are vibrating models. Sorry if that’s what you’re looking for. I have a buyer’s guide for that too, ya know.
The Three Kings: My Top 3 Best Anal Dildos In 2020:
Is it “dildos” or “dildoes?” Nobody knows. It seems like the world can’t agree on anything anymore, much less figure out what the top three best anal dildos are (yeah, I’m going with that one). When disagreements and discrepancies reign supreme there’s only one answer: To eliminate all other possibilities until the champions natural emerge. Hopefully, the checklists provided above have helped you do just that. If you’re still stuck, however, I’ve composed a short list of what I feel are the cream of the anal sex toy crop, complete with a brief description and some pros and cons for each. See? Doing your homework isn’t so bad when you have a nerd like me on your team.
So, as promised, here are the top three anal dildos on the modern-day market (in my humble opinion):
#1 The nJoy Fun Wand
Moan and shiver on a dildo of silver, or stainless-steel (close enough). The nJoy Fun Wand is my pick for “best overall” because it has everything I want in a good dildo – versatility, couples friendliness, and ergonomics for beginners and experts alike. Good for both g-spot and p-spot pleasure, this sleek and smooth dual-ended dildo features graduated balls for precision play and has a unique shape that keeps it out of the way during dual stimulation time. The Fun Wand by nJoy is also temperature reactive, meaning you can cool it off or warm it up with ease, plus it has a 3.5-inch head with a circumference that varies between 2.4 inches and 3.2 inches, making it one of the perfect toys for naughty girls and boys.
PRO: It will work with any type of lube and for any type of sex play you desire.
CON: The stainless-steel doesn’t provide the soft skin-like sensations of silicone or latex toys.
#2 The nJoy Pure Wand
BEST FOR COUPLES
Designed for external and internal stimulation, the nJoy Pure Wand sends direct pleasure with mind-blowing precision. Waterproof and body-safe, the PW features a medical-grade stainless-steel body, a uniquely ergonomic shape and a double-ended design for maximum pleasure. Both ends measure differently for increase versatility, plus the entire thing is ideal for kinky temperature play as well as vaginal stimulation and whole-body muscle relaxation. This well-rounded and perfectly balanced sex toy is perfect for couples and solo artists alike, making it a smart investment for anyone who enjoys sexual experimentation and all-inclusive fun.
PRO: It can be used with any kind of lube and it makes a great gift because of its attractive packaging.
CON: It won’t give you the flesh-like sensations you might like and it’s not compatible with harnesses or high-tech sex toys.
#3 The LELO Inez
BEST FOR PROS
As the most exclusive personal pleasure device ever made, the Inez by the famous LELO brand takes the brand’s signature luxury to a whole new level. Designed with decadence and elegance in mind, this sleek and stylish little number is made from skin-safe stainless-steel that’s been plated with 24-karat gold and shaped so ergonomically perfect that it can be used vaginally or anally by both sex toy novices and pros. An all-around amazing product, the Inez features 8 pleasure settings that are all fully rechargeable via USB. And with a 4-inch insertable length, quiet motor and relatively long battery life, this device has won several industry awards, been featured in countless magazines and even comes with a warranty.
PRO: As expensive as it is, the manufacturer allows buyers to make payments towards owning the most luxurious and impressive sex toy in the world.
CON: It doesn’t have a flared base for good handling during rough anal sex – more for surface pleasure and shallow penetration.
The End Game
Choosing the perfect anal dildo can be extremely difficult, especially since you can’t try it before you buy it and every manufacturer claims theirs is the best. Customer reviews are always wack and manufacturers pull out all the stops on advertising, so you never quite know what you’re getting from those sources. The best way to find the best product is to search it out yourself using a toolbox filled with important considerations and unapologetic personal preference. The main point is for whatever anal dildo you pick to have all the features you and/or your partner need to have a satisfying sexual experience (hopefully more than once). If that takes a 9-inch silicone super-skin anal dildo with a set of squishy balls and a tapered tip, then so be it. There can be no one-size fits all sex toy or else none of us are special like our mothers told us we were. You calling my mama a liar? Ok, she is, but you get my point, right?
I’m Rori. I’m glad you’re here with me on this crazy journey.
Since this is a sex blog, most of the content relates to the men (and women) in my life. I’ve divided my life over the last five years into little “chapters” to help you catch up on the story and the cast of characters involved.