Because Looking Sexy Is a Privilege, But Being Sexy Is a Responsibility.
Once upon a time, I was involved in a romantic relationship with a partner who had an eye for sexy underclothing. And by “had an eye” I mean he was always looking at other women in their lingerie. Whether in magazine and movie form or through my sister’s bedroom window as I came to find out, his lust for lingerie is what eventually drove a wedge between us. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look and feel good for your partner. You just shouldn’t have to destroy your personal boundaries to do it, that’s all I’m trying to say. Ugh, is this thing on?
Listen, I don’t mean to get up on a soap box here but modern-day lingerie is nothing like the stuff your mother and grandmother used to wear. Their seductive clothing was purely function, and sexy to onlookers only because of what it represented. Vintage lingerie designs are now favored only as a novelty, with stiff stitching, itchy materials, pointed brassieres, unnecessary restriction, and complex harnessing systems. Nowadays, those things are the hallmark of a bad fetish porn, not the clothes you wear to turn on a voyeuristic partner. Had I known any of that before my last relationship, I wouldn’t have tried the wrong outfit and made a fool out of myself in front of my ex, resulting in his unquenched desire for more.
Cheating lovers don’t get a cop out because bad lingerie exists, don’t get me wrong. It’s just that contemporary options are sleek, sexy and best of all, 100-times more comfortable than old-school ensembles (on a bad day). Once made as a single piece that was held together with a series of bulky straps, snaps and buttons, the lingerie of yesteryear cannot be used as a worthy comparison anymore. And since I was obviously the last one to find out about that little secret, my love life made an abrupt halt somewhere around my 28th birthday. By my 30s, it had taken a complete nose-dive, the likes of which I’m still recovering from today.
It didn’t help that my ass had started to look like cottage cheese and my tits were clinically depressed. For a long time, those less than savory physical attributes of mine made me think that wearing lingerie was the last thing on Earth I should be doing, especially if keeping my partner’s attention on me (instead of on my sister) was the main objective. Eventually I learned that it was just the opposite. Did you know that it’s not the lingerie that makes you sexy? It’s you who makes the lingerie look good. In other words, confidence is all you really need to wear, but good lingerie only enhances what’s already there.
That’s why picking out the perfect pair of panties or stockings and selecting the ideal teddy to go with it is such an important step in becoming a fully-grown woman with a well-rounded sex life. There’s no shame in wearing sexy, seductive undergarments beneath your otherwise modest clothing, especially if you have a committed partner waiting for you at home. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as it turns out, but you can’t allow someone else’s opinion define your worth. Looking sexy is a privilege, but being sexy is a responsibility. We all owe it to ourselves to play dress up from time to time so we can feel youthful, sexy and feminine; so fuck the haters and start searching for something makes you and your partner’s heart go pitter-patter.
What Is Lingerie For Women?
So, lingerie is a just broad term used to describe a specialized category of women’s clothing. It usually includes sexy, revealing items such as bras, panties, pantyhose, garters, and gowns, with comfort and lightweight accessibility being the two main components which set it apart from traditional undergarments. Today’s hottest options are blatantly motivated by the intention or implied intention of the item being removed in a fit of lust by a lover. Therefore, most pieces are designed to be both fashionable and functional, although the degree of which often varies widely based on several minute factors.
Old-school pin-up photos showed women in what is now considered vintage lingerie – breast-hoisting brassieres, tummy-supporting underwear, skin-smoothing stockings, partner-alluring materials that revealed just enough to leave something for the imagination. Those outfits drove the boys crazy, and the trick hasn’t stopped working since the dawn of time. Long before vintage get-ups and controversial Coca-Cola ads, men and women from all over the world enjoyed playing with fabrics and figures to entice the imagination, inspire passion and increase self-confidence. So, even if you don’t already feel good about yourself, properly fitting lingerie has the power to change your mind.
Unfortunately, knowing my story and the definition of lingerie is simply not enough to get you where you’re going. Manufacturers team up with some extremely talented marketers to coax you out of your money. Just because the model looks good in the advertisement doesn’t mean you will too. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but if you can get it down then you can find what you’re looking for without causing awkwardness, embarrassment or injury. Yes, I said “injury” because there are over 2 million sex-related accidents each year in the United States alone, and some of them are probably due to the fact that the patient didn’t take the time to answer these important questions about themselves before diving head-first in the sea of sexiness:
- What kinds of sex acts do I enjoy performing or recieving the most?
- Do I need my bed clothes to fit in a particular way to support my sexual fantasies?
- Is my partner comfortable with what I’m planning to do and/or wear?
- Does my love life require special tools or sex toys that won’t work with certain types of lingerie?
- How many different chemicals and/or materials do I normally come in contact with during sex or masturbation?
- Are there any skin sensitivities or allergies that need taken into consideration?
- What materials work best for my or my partner’s skin type?
- Do my ideal lingerie materials work well with the personal lubricant type(s) I prefer?
- Can I wash/maintain this product in a way that supports my health and wellness?
- Do I need something that stretches or adjusts in size?
- Will I be the only one wearing this lingerie I’m about to buy?
- How frequently does my/my partner’s weight fluctuate?
- Does the material stretch o shrink when it’s pulled off, washed, or otherwise?
- How do I want to feel when I wear this lingerie?
- Do I want to feel powerful and commanding like a dominant or dainty and helpless like a submissive?
- Which body part do I need to show off and accentuate for my partner?
- Which body part (if any) do I need to concentrate on hiding or obscuring?
- What kind of budget do I have available to create a complete look using sexy, high-end lingerie?
- Does my spending limit have room for things like cleaning, general maintenance and accessories?
- Will I be able to find or afford replacement parts if needed?
- Do I know of any special deals, discounts or coupon codes on sexy seductive clothing items?
- What do I already have at home that can be used to create a good-looking under-outfit?
You’ll never be able to selecting the right thing if you don’t know what it is or what you should be looking for (and avoiding). I could give you suggestions all day, but we’d never get anywhere until you got to know yourself a little better than the marketers do. And by the way, luxury lingerie always makes a terrific gift from one lover to another. In fact, there are several good reasons why women (and sometimes even men) wear this sexy stuff. I’ll save you the lengthy dissertation and just give you the Cliff’s Notes for now. You can thank me later for saving you money and time.
Why Wear Sexy Lingerie Though?
Aside from helping to boost your confidence and despite its ability to make a partner swoon on contact, most high-end, luxury-grade sex clothes can benefit you and/or your partner(s) in several ways, including but not always limited to the following:
- Increased Sexual Arousal
There are very few things sexier than a partner sauntering around in lingerie they feel confident in. That partner could be you, or it could be the person you’re trying to get kinky and experiment with. Either way, the right seductive articles can increase arousal between lovers, especially if that lingerie is slowly revealed in sections. Strip poker, sensual massages and couple’s games get a whole lot more enjoyable when there’s something naughty hidden beneath the surface. Sometimes, just a pair of silk stocking can send a horny lover through the roof.
- More Magical Mysteries
After a while, it can be tough to surprise your partner in the bedroom. Contemporary society and the mainstream media have started to desensitize our physical, mental and emotional perspectives. Bringing those mysterious moments to life is a great way to spark passion in an otherwise dull relationship, plus it can set precedence in a new union that hinges on sexual attractiveness. Properly fitted lingerie is made in a peculiar way – drawing out the most favorable features while hiding the ones you hate. It props, it squeezes, it shapes and it molds. But best of all, it adds a little intrigue where there was none before, because we could all use a swift kick in the pants from time to time.
- Enhanced Role Playing Games
Got a sexual fantasy that you’ve just been dying to try? Have a special celebrity or porn star in mind that you want to emulate for your partner or fuck for yourself? Role playing is one of the most popular activities for modern-day couples, and it’s easy to see why. But none of it would be possible without a few pieces of lingerie laying around. Naughty nurses, sexy school teachers, arousing aliens – those aren’t necessarily “lingerie” but they’re certainly welcome in most bedrooms. Crack you or your partner’s shell and step out into the great unknown by experiencing the awe-inspired orgasms created by the right nighttime wear (even if that means dressing up like Marilyn Monroe or Betty Boop).
I’m sure there are about a 486 other advantages to wearing lingerie, I just can’t think of them right now because I’m too busy imagining myself in some hot little see-through number that my partner got me as an anniversary present (hint, hint). I’m a total fan of seductive dress up, regardless of what the feminists say is right, wrong or demeaning. I sure as hell never felt belittled as I was picking my partner’s jaw up off the floor, and I never once got belittled as my clothes were ripped from my body. I think the fems got it all wrong, to be honest. After all, some of the men look better in this stuff than we do. It’s got to be good for something.
At this point, we can probably all agree that owning an item of lingerie isn’t necessarily a bad idea that says “I don’t look good enough naked.” Someone somewhere had a bad experience one time and now we’re all having to pay for it. I think that’s bullshit; and I also think that all you need is a few pointers to prevent that same situation from happening to you. Seductive clothing is a gift from God, but only if you use it right and hunt down the good stuff like a coonhound on a rabbit trail. (My apologies for the terrible analogy. My parents were Southern and I receive a disability check for it every month).
The Top 5 Ways to Tell If That Lingerie Is Worth It or Not
There are a few classic pieces of lingerie that will probably never go out of style, but that doesn’t mean they’re all made the same. No two items are ever alike, even products that are made by the same manufacturer. To find the orgasm-inspiring outfit that works best for you, don’t forget to check out the following features on each option you’re considering:
- The Size
Just like picking out a new shirt or pair of pants, selecting the right lingerie involves using a general size range to find the perfect fit. However, most seductive clothing is sized differently than outer clothing. For example, a size 10 in jeans may be the equivalent to a size 4/6, plus some brands run either small or large depending on their target demographic. Know your average clothing size and then try on a few options before getting discouraged with your body. Remember, there are plenty of one-size-fits-all choices out there too.
- The Materials
You can tell a lot about a woman by the clothes she wears, and the items tucked beneath your dress are no exception. The lucky lover who gets to reveal those sexy britches wants to feel soft, smooth and silky materials. You, on the other hand, want it to be comfortable and hypoallergenic. Stay away from materials that don’t breathe well, especially if you’re planning to wear the ensemble for several hours. Leather and lace have their place, but stay fresher and feistier in lingerie made out of cotton, silk, satin, nylon, or a patented polyblend fabric. And don’t be afraid to mix and match materials either, because that’s not only sexy it’s also smart.
- The Features
Yes, even lingerie has features. Depending on the type you’re wearing, that flirty clothing item on your tush could feature specialized clasps, adjustable straps, security buttons or other components that increase its overall sex appeal and functionality. Many modern-day lingerie makers try to create products that are fun and east to wear, but complicated items still exist and are even favored by some people. Make sure the features on your chosen products are in line with your ideal experience. Garter belts, push-up bras and silk stockings may make you look like a million bucks, but they’ll be useless if you’re unable to manipulate the moving parts because of awkward complexity.
- The Fit
Have you ever bought a pair a jeans that were your exact size only to find out they don’t fit at all? Plunged into a fit of depressed, body-shaming rage, we tend to think that one manufacturer has a monopoly on clothing sizes. As easy as that would make things for us, it’s simply not how this works. The size and features of your chosen item should work together to create a form-fitting silhouette that flatters your body and enhances your self-esteem. If that means going up or down a few sizes, then so be it. You’re an exclusive model with zero replicas, so your lingerie is bound to have the same qualities (or at least it should).
- The Functionality
I find good bed clothes to be helpful in almost any sensual situation. However, that’s only possible if the lingerie functions as needed. For example, I like to use crotchless panties a lot, especially when I know there’s about to be some penetration with either a sex toy or my partner’s penis. I prefer cut-out bras when the nipple clamps are used and my sexy gowns work wonders for romantic evenings when I want to wine and dine my lover. It’s all about creating and maintaining the perfect marriage between fashion and function. The lingerie that’s worth it should provide all that and more.
The Big Ten: My Best Sexy Lingerie Essentials
All lingerie purchases are subject to the wearer and/or her partner’s preferences, I understand that. However, there are a few key pieces that should always be included in every serious seducer’s stash. I sincerely hope the following information will help you decide on which pieces to pick up or pass up on your next shopping trip, because every woman has a right to feel beautiful and wanted. Keep in mind, however, that these suggestions are in no particular order of importance or preference:
The Teaser’s Teddy
Sometimes called a “cami-knicker,” the colloquial teddy is a skimpy one-piece undergarment that covers the torso and accentuates the curves of your body. Similar in style to a swimsuit or bodysuit, teddies are typically made from a looser, more sheer fabric that reveals more of your figure. Although usually cut off at the shoulders, some feature tight or flowing sleeves to make them more attractive and versatile.
BEST TEDDY MATERIALS AND FEATURES: Go with cotton, silk, nylon or polyester, and look for garments that have elastic bands and/or clasps where you need them the most.
MY SUGGESTION: The DreamGirl Gold Chain Teddy – a supremely glitzy, body-flattering choice for any body type or skin complexion, plus it’s sex toy friendly and stupid easy to take care of.
The Dirty Dress
Tight and tantalizing is the dirty little dress, a staple in almost every erotic woman’s bedtime wardrobe. Multi-function and always fashionable, the only thing that goes out of style on a lingerie dress is the material’s pattern, and even then you can rock it as a well-fitted vintage piece if you want to. Dresses lift up your butt, highlight your body’s supple curves, boost your breasts and provide a clear shot to the fun box for your lover or favorite sex toy. Make it squeeze or let it flow, the point is to wear one that makes your partner say “Oh!”
BEST DRESS MATERIALS AND FEATURES: Opt for dresses made out of stretchy, breathable materials that have features like cut-outs, kinks, clasps and breast enhancement strips or underwire.
MY SUGGESTION: The Coquette Purple Mesh and Metallic Lace Babydoll Set – a dynamic panty/dress duo that channels the goddess Aphrodite and flatters your figure while cleverly hiding your flaws.
The Silk Stocking
Contrary to its suggestive name, the silk stocking is not always made out of silk. These days, you’ll find more nylon pantyhose than anything else. Favored for their durability and flaw-deflecting properties, nylon stocking can be worn with almost any kind of lingerie and look great under regular clothes. There are now ankle-length, knee-high, thigh-high and full-size options available, and the choice is yours as long as you know your shoe size and waist circumference (for pull-up versions). Fun Fact: Silk stockings are so universally appreciated and prized for their sophisticated addition to any style that they’re often used as the name inspiration for high-end communities in historical cities.
BEST STOCKING MATERIAL AND FEATURES: Although silk is an amazing material to have crawling up your legs, nylon pantyhose generally last longer and are more affordable to replace. Look for control tops, arc support and color coordination to find the best option.
MY SUGGESTION: the Leg Avenue Crotchless Floral Lace Garter Pantyhose – a sweet yet sensual mixture of class and kink, with zero crotch yet plenty of room for playtime versatility. It also features a built-in garter look so you can skip all the straps and buckles (if you want) and get right down to business.
The Garter and Belt Combo
Classic, sophisticated and sexy are just the first three words that come to mind when I think about garters and belts. A garter/belt combo is a dainty yet powerful article of seductive clothing that uses narrow bands of elastic to fasten a form-fitting belt onto a silk stocking that’s pulled up to the thigh. The garter belt is secured via various types of clasps just above the knee to keep the hose from slipping, making a uniquely attractive silhouette in the process. As one of the more complex kinds of lingerie, these hot toddies may require the help of a partner to get on and off, but hey…that can be kind of hot if you think about it.
BEST GARTER BELT MATERIALS AND FEATURES: The garter itself can be made out of anything that you choose, but the belt should be either adjustable or stretchy and the clasps to the stocking bands should be easy to use and secure enough for you to move around without difficulty or discomfort.
MY SUGGESTION: The Seven ’til Midnight Satin and Mesh Garter Belt Set – a sexy and sophisticated little number that comes in black or red and features a quaint polka dot pattern over the transparent stockings that are held up by a snug belt which features easy-to-use security clasps on either side.
The Pretty Panty
Underneath ever teddy, dirty dress or garter belt combo is the perfect pair of panties. And these can’t be your everyday, run-of-the-mill, “I’ve had my period in these nine times” drawers. Lingerie panties must be super special: silky, smooth, sexy, seductive and most importantly, safe. Good panties always fit without causing irritation to the skin around your crotch, even if you wear them for a long time. After all, who knows how long foreplay is going to last tonight? Isn’t it best to be prepared with some underwear that makes a statement (and not “It’s laundry day” either).
BEST PANTY MATERIALS AND FEATURES: In general, try to choose panties that are made out of cotton or silk and look for versatile options that give you freedom with your favorite partner(s) and sex toy(s).
MY SUGGESTION: The Coquette Darque Stimulating Chain Panties – a sleek black pair of pleasurable panties that provide you with a series of clit-teasing massages and temperature play as you await your lover’s touch. They look great under other pieces of lingerie too.
The Cute Corset and/or Bustier
A bustier, or corset, is an attractive form of tight-fitting garment made especially for women. Traditionally worn as complex lingerie, contemporary corsets can be much easier to put on and take off. Their primary purpose is to push up the breasts through a strategic, manual tightening of the torso using a series of adjustable straps, clasps or buttons (which also shape and slim the waist, by the way). If you’re lucky, you might even be able to find one with garter straps integrated into the design, but don’t quote me.
BEST CORSET/BUSTIER MATERIALS AND FEATURES: I prefer these bad boys in the same materials as my panties, although I’ve been known to play around with latex and rubber if the clasps are secure enough and the construction is durable.
MY SUGGESTION: The Lovehoney Midnight Soiree Blue Floral Basque Set – a sexy selection featuring the corset, the panties, and garter straps and an integrated choker detail all in one, with a skin and curve-flattering color scheme over a sensual design.
The Bitchen Bodystocking
Made to cover your entire body in a thin, transparent layer of luxurious fabric, body stockings tease the senses by mixing revelation with discretion. Able to be worn under almost any kind of everyday clothing, a bodystocking can suffice where a garter belt system or corset fails. Best of all, they’re usually designed to be crotchless so you can explore your desires without having to remove the entire suit. In some instances, they breasts are even cut out for extra versatility with partners and sex toys.
BEST BODYSTOCKING MATERIALS AND FEATURES: Always go with something that’s extremely stretchy and made from breathable materials, and choose bodysuits with plenty of room for your partner’s sexual advances because they’re hard to get back on once you take them off.
MY SUGGESTION: The Lovehoney Crotchless All-in-One Floral Lace Bodystocking – a body-friendly option that looks and feels good on everyone no matter who you are, plus it pairs well with just about any panties, shoes or accessories you already own.
I said I had 10 different pieces of lingerie to discuss, but the seven items mentioned above are about all you need to have a good time. However, depending on your sexual appetites, kinks, fetishes and performance preferences, the following three things may or may not be necessary for you to consider before you leave. Also, I don’t have any product suggestions for these ones. I will, however, provide you with some recommendations on the basics. You’re welcome.
The Hot High-Heeled Shoe
This accessory is sometimes numero uno for lingerie lovers, especially since it elongates the leg, perks up the butt and makes the outfit look ten times better. Look for stiletto heels and/or boots (if you can hang). As a general rule, the higher the heel the better you look. Oh yeah, and don’t be afraid of a thigh-high shit-kicker either. Those are sexy AF with almost anything, I don’t care who you are.
The Beautiful Body Jewelry
Nothing says confidence and “I love my hot body” like some well-placed body jewelry. Whether you’re dressing up your breasts, your pussy, your bellybutton or your tongue, a good piece of hypoallergenic body jewelry can act as the glistening cherry on top of an already steaming ensemble. Best of all, you don’t have to commit to piercing your clit. Today’s market is full of clip-on rings and studs for you to experiment with temporarily.
The Crazy Costume
The naughty nurse, the sexy school teacher and the wet-n-wild witch walked into a swinger’s bar. Okay, so it sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but it’s actually something you can recreate in the comfort of your own home if you have the right lingerie costume in your closet. Most of the time, hot getups like that come with all the components you need to create a full look immediately, but be sure that’s the case with the options you like because that’s not always how it goes, unfortunately.
The End Game
I don’t know how many times I’ve said this to someone, but owning at least one piece of sexy lingerie should be a rite of passage for every woman on the planet. At no point should you ever feel self-conscious when wearing an article of clothing made specifically for your body. Well-made, luxury-grade lingerie is flattering to the female form, so much so that men often find themselves trying it on. Whatever your story or secret, one this is for certain: seductive clothing will never go out of style, even if the style thereof changes drastically from one generation to the next. Let’s just be happy that it does, because my grandmother’s lingerie was a sad, sad excuse for sexy underwear. What’s important these days, above all else, is experiencing comfort, fashion and functionality at the same time, every time. And as long as you feel good about yourself when you’re wearing it, nothing else should matter.
I’m Rori. I’m glad you’re here with me on this crazy journey.
Since this is a sex blog, most of the content relates to the men (and women) in my life. I’ve divided my life over the last five years into little “chapters” to help you catch up on the story and the cast of characters involved.