Because Men Have Feelings Too (In Their Dicks, But Still).
Male sex toys have been around for quite some time, although previous versions weren’t much to write home about. Back in the day, men would beat their meat with almost anything. In fact, archaeologists recently discovered our horniest ancestors’ favorite tools – a large grouping of self-pleasure products fashioned out of everything from old loaves of bread to animal skins and membranes. The collective love for self-induced orgasms is nothing new, but the industry surrounding it is (sort of).
Although men (and women) have been able to freely purchase sex toys for decades, the market for such products wasn’t always as big as it is now. At first, guys were left with little more than flimsy pocket pussies and disposable cock rings. The thought of ever having a high-tech, automatic male masturbator or a multi-function prostate massaging tool was a pipedream. Thanks to innovations and a well-deserved acceptance by society, male sex toys are now more prevalent than ever.
Horny gentlemen have a ton of options now, no longer with their bodies subjected to embarrassing methods that are potentially dangerous. The influx of choice has been exhilarating for the average sex toy fan, but that same guy often finds it difficult to locate a decent device. With so many options out there, it’s almost impossible to lock down the best one without attending the University of Male Marital Aids and Accessories. I am the professor, and school is in now in session.
Ask yourself the following 3 questions before we begin:
- How much do I know about sex toys for men?
- Have I ever used a male sex toy of any kind before?
- What does my partner have to say about all this?
Searching for the best one can be a pain in the ass (literally), but that doesn’t mean there’s not a method to the madness. The double-edged sword that is the inflated sex toy market may make if difficult to track down the perfect product, but at least we have choices these days. I’d hate to see what happens when we revert back to fucking stale baguettes. I don’t think there’s enough olive oil in the world to convince me to do that, but then again, I’ve surprised myself a few times.
Jerking off with your bare hands is a rookie move reserved for middle school chumps with crushes on high school cheerleaders. Stepping your game up with a well-made pleasure product is the best way to differentiate yourself from the pack of hairy-palmed losers hiding out under the bleachers. It also enhances your sex life instantly, but we’ll get into that in a minute. For now, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page by going over a few quick definitions. Trust me, you’ll appreciate the clarification in the end.
What Is a Male Sex Toy?
It’s not difficult to understand what a male sex toy is once you understand what one isn’t. A male sex toy is not a standard unisex device, although some unisex devices can be use as male sex toys. Instead, a true sex toy for men is a gender-specific instrument designed to generate sexual arousal and/or pleasure based on the unique properties of the average male anatomy. The modern-day sex toy market is full of options which do just that, from toys that focus primarily on the penis to products that stimulate the prostate and everything in between.
In fact, there are several different types of male sex toy currently available on the market, with innovative brains from all over the world working hard to develop even more. No longer do men have to crank one out with their bare hands; and even if they decide to do it like that, they now have numerous tools at their disposal to make it feel better than ever before. Get yourself up to speed so you can enjoy what all the other guys are. Here is a rundown of the 8 most common male sex toys you’ll find out there:
- Male Masturbators – a unique and relatively new form of male sex toy that acts as a masturbation aid for men, producing sexual pleasure through the use of handheld, automatic or manual stimulation with various textures and customizable features
- Prostate Massagers – a trusted and medically-endorsed male sex toy that stimulates the prostate gland (p-spot) through direct contact using vibrations, sonic waves or electrostimulation (e-stim)
- Sex Simulators – a toy that’s similar to a male masturbator but with more high-tech features that produce a life-like penetration and/or oral sex experiences through Bluetooth connections, virtual reality content and/or sync technologies
- Cock Rings – a safe and affordable device with or without vibrations that gets worn around the base of the penis to instantly promote harder and longer-lasting erections without the need for penis pumps, potions or pills
- BDSM Instruments – a set of male bondage tools such as chastity devices and ball crushers, commonly used to inspire and/or support sexual role playing/dominance games for men who enjoy penile torture
- Anal Beads and Butt Plugs – an alternative to prostate massagers, suitable for beginners and experts alike, used to stimulate the p-spot or anal cavity through repetitive penetration and removal
- Butts – an anatomically correct sex toy featuring the components of real human genitalia, often featuring things like built-in warming devices, vibrations and/or twerking motions that can sometimes be synced to other products
- Sex Dolls and Torsos – a larger and more detailed version of the butt, with exceptional features and a well-balanced weight distribution to promote and support creativity, exploration and performance improvement
The wide variety of sex toys for men is staggering, even to an old pervert like me. Whether looking for a good product for yourself or a partner, becoming a diligent shopper is more important than you think. Before you can even consider a male sex toy, though, you need to answer the following questions about yourself (and any partner you plan to involve):
- Am I using this thing by myself or would I like to involve a partner?
First and foremost, understand that not all male sex toys are couples-friendly devices. Determine who’s most likely to show up for the party and then plan accordingly. Some products don’t require a partner’s involvement whatsoever, so be careful not to get a product that will ostracize your loved one during the fun and games (unless, of course, that’s what they’ve been asking for).
- What kind of sex do I/we want to have with it?
Some sex toys for men will only do one thing, which may or may not leave your partner sitting on the sidelines waiting on you to finish. Fortunately, many male sex toys are either couples-friendly or made in such a way that they promote togetherness and passion in the bedroom. For example, a prostate massager leaves plenty of room for a participating partner, but certain male masturbation devices are made for solo runs only.
- Are there any products that me and/or my partner are totally against using at this time?
WARNING: Most of the toys you’re about to encounter will look yummy, but they might not all be appropriate for your current sex life. Some partners prefer not to use extremely intense sex toys because they’re afraid of genital or sensory desensitization. Others stay away from hyper-realistic products, while many seek those things for their own reasons. The temptation is out there, but moving strategically is crucial. Talk to your partner and be honest with yourself at all times, but leave plenty of room for safe and healthy experimentation.
- Do I/we have any intimacy goals?
Today’s market for male pleasure products is flooded with options, and most of them are made for a specific purpose. Whether that purpose be for straight-up pleasure, pain, training or all of the above is something you need to find out. You’ll also want to think about the goals you have set up for your sex life. Will this new sex toy help you achieve any of your objectives or will it set you back in some way? Obviously, we all want something that helps us improve our game. I’m sure you’re no different.
- How’s my/my partner’s mobility?
Keep in mind that your body will communicate certain things to you that need to be paid attention to. If you have a hard time moving a specific part of your anatomy, some male sex toys might not be right for you. An example: Heavy-duty or life-sized sex dolls. Not only are those products difficult to maneuver but they may be impossible to maintain properly for a guy with back problems or arthritis. Compact and/or automatic devices are probably your best bet if you have mobility problems.
- What is my/my partner’s home situation like?
Also remember that some of today’s high-tech male sex toys require extra steps to ensure discretion while they’re in use. Either big, loud or dependent on wireless connections/mobile data, many luxury-grade, interactive or automatic devices make it difficult to enjoy sex or masturbation unless you’ve got plenty of privacy. Make sure your living situation is conducive with the kinds of male sex toys you’re thinking about or else things can get awkward in a hurry.
Why a Male Sex Toy Though?
All of those considerations to make and I haven’t even got to the good part yet. Sex toys made specifically for men play a significant role in our society, not to mention the space they fill in our hearts, bedrooms and assholes. According to recent studies on the effects of synthetic marital aids as they relate to intimacy and pleasure, modern men all say few negative things about the sex toys that have been developed just for them. Naturally enthusiastic and equally appreciative, most guys say that their sex toys provide the following five things (if not more):
- They Increase Your Orgasmic Potential
Do I really have to convince you that masturbating with a high-quality sex toy is better than doing so with your bare hands? I didn’t think so. And even if you’re not jerking off, all men know the importance of having the right tools for the trade. Male sex toys are those tools, and if you use them right you can enjoy the most intense orgasms you’ve ever experienced.
- They Can Aid with Stamina Improvements
Research has proven that frequent sex and/or masturbation not only poses numerous health benefits but also helps decrease the occurrence of premature ejaculation (especially for men, since the average man typically cums in about 3 to 5 minutes while the average woman takes about 20). In fact, some forward-thinking manufacturers have taken it upon themselves to create products made specifically for this purpose – to make you last longer and ejaculate stronger.
- They Help with Erectile Dysfunction
While not all male pleasure products are appropriate for the treatment of erectile dysfunction, many are. Plus, some can even be used in conjunction with specially-made penile correction products like penis pumps and extenders to increase improvement rates and support a healthy sex life in the meantime.
- They Promote Romantic Connections with Others
Good sex toys, whether for men, women or couples, have the ability to transform your social life in a way you’ve never dreamed possible. While most people think that sex toys are reserved for the most perverted sub-culture in our society, the fact of the matter is that a majority of the products sold are bought by everyday, average people who are just looking to bust a nut. The inclusion of things like Bluetooth, virtual reality and smart device apps has only made it easier to connect without people who have similar interests as you.
- They Allow for a Lazy and Relaxing Climax
Best of all, man-made products make male masturbation less tedious and tiring, even if pleasure is derived through manual stimulation with the device. Combinations of user-friendly features and well-researched ergonomics show our collective ingenuity and allow us to achieve sexual gratification with less energy and more fervor. All for one and one for all, eh boys?
The Top 5 Ways to Tell If That Male Sex Toy Is Worth It or Not
Simply falling in love with the idea of owning one of these bad boys isn’t enough to get you what you want. Manufacturers hire tricky marketers to capture your attention and eventually your money, but catchy advertisements shouldn’t be the only thing you have to go off of here. I never leave my soldiers behind, which is why I’m about to tell you a few things that no sex toy maker wants anyone to know. Please don’t ask me how I discovered all of this. My therapist says I’m not ready.
Below are the top five things you should look at or consider when determining whether or not to spend your money on that male sex toy in your shopping cart. I sure hope it helps you guys, because learning this stuff the hard way is a process I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy:
- The Size
As a man, you should understand how much size matters. You’ve been clocking the dimensions of your dick since the 4th grade, you don’t have to lie to make friends. Anyway, nothing has changed since elementary school. You still have to measure your cock with a ruler before moving up the ladder. Not all male sex toys are made the same, nor are they all the same size. Pay close attention to the insertable lengths and widths of the toys you fancy and nobody gets hurt.
- The Shape
You’re the only one who knows what condition your condition is in, so find something that suits your unique body type and don’t ever apologize for what that entails. Modern male masturbation devices tend to be ergonomically designed so that they fit the proportions of the average man, but every user is different and that’s no surprise to anybody. Many manufacturers offer flexible and/or customizable products, so look for those types if the original shape isn’t right for you.
- The Materials
The material of your sex toy is more important than you think. Certain materials can’t be used with certain lubes, plus skin types play a vital role as well. Stick with products made from skin-safe, lube-friendly materials such as silicone, thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), polyvinyl chloride (PVC), stainless-steel, precious metals, glass or a patented formula that’s proven hypoallergenic and free from potentially harmful ingredients such a latex, parabens or phthalates.
- The Features
Features and settings play a huge role in how much fun you have with this new sex toy of yours. While simple products have their merits, toys with a bunch of bells and whistles can increase your creativity tremendously (not to mention enhance the quality of your orgasms by a noticeable margin). Look for features like adjustable vibe functions, touch sensitive control pads, stroke speed and length settings and targeted stimulation modes where applicable. Anything outside of that is just a bonus.
- The Manufacturer
Keep in mind that some sex toy makers have started creating products that work in tandem with one another, meaning your collection will have to start getting integrated pretty soon. This consideration is especially important for men looking for couples-friendly toys, since many products only work with toys from the same manufacturer lineup. Very few brands offer cross-over products, but a relatively low-tech toy can provide more versatility at times.
NOTE: Also look at the cost-to-quantity comparison, especially when you’re purchasing products that come in kits or combos. Sometimes, it’s better to buy your sex toys, supplies and accessories in bulk to get the most bang for you buck. Plus, it’s always better to have everything you need as soon as you pop open the box. Just a suggestion.
My Top 10 Best Male Sex Toys In 2020:
Ok, so you’ve figured out what goes into a good sex toy and you’re done being dicked around by people who just want your money. Welcome to the big leagues, boys. What happens when a bunch of products have those same great qualities though? Did you ever think of that? Because I did, and it didn’t take me long to realize how similar some of these devices really were. That can make things pretty tricky.
So, do you buy them all, do you give up on your search because you’re not a millionaire, or do you take my advice and check out the following toys to get a few ideas of where to start? I think you already know the answer. Here are my 10 favorite male sex toys of all time, and each of them has sold by the millions so far (which means I’m not the only one who thinks they’re awesome). By the way, these are in no particular order:
Perhaps the world’s most high-tech sex toy for men, this bad boy is also surprisingly user-friendly and is compatible with toys from outside its brand. Made to stimulate the shaft of the penis through various speeds and stroke lengths, the Launch houses any full-sized Fleshlight masturbator for a hands-free experience that can also be synced with virtual reality porn content and used with VR goggles. Ideal for almost any user, especially those engaged in a long-distance relationship, the FL device is sturdy, durable, skin-safe and rechargeable too. No time to juice up the battery? This device also features an autopilot function that can be turned on while it’s plugged into the power source.
PRO: It can be synced with the Kiiroo Onyx 2 and Pearl 2, plus it comes in a lower-tech, more compact version for the Quickshot fans out there.
CON: It can’t be used anywhere near water and requires a significant amount of time to fully recharge.
As mentioned, the KO2 is compatible with a high-tech toy from another brand, but this well-made SOB is satisfying enough to be used all by itself (or linked with another Onyx or Pearl device if that’s what you’re into). Compatible with virtual reality goggles, the teledildonic technology utilized here is second to none and ideal for horny couples and solo artists alike. Featuring a dual-sided sleeve, the Onyx 2 is basically two toys in one. It’s wireless operating system hooks up to your Bluetooth for long-distance play and it allows you to interact with other users either in person or online. Best of all, it’s whisper quiet although far more powerful than its predecessor.
PRO: It features ergonomic touch-sensitive control pads, plus the limited porn content can be supplemented with a compatible device like the Launch.
CON: The affiliated online porn content is somewhat limited and the device itself requires frequent updates to run smoothly.
TENGA Flip Zero EV
As the TENGA brand’s latest innovation, the Flip Zero EV takes the amazing ingenuity of the original model and combines it with updated technology. This new and improved version still opens like a book to accommodate all penis sizes and it helps guys with erectile disfunction experience pleasure too. However, the enhanced model now features dual core motors that pulse at five distinct speeds, plus the device is still as water-resistant as ever. With manual pressure control pads on the side of the outer casing to control suction and a lightweight, highly texturized design within the sleeve, this quick-charging masturbator is ideal for newbies, stamina trainers and travelers alike (even when the vibes are turned off).
PRO: This is probably the easiest male masturbator on the market to clean and maintain, plus it’s appropriate for almost any penis size.
CON: It can’t be synced with porn content and isn’t compatible with any other sex toy.
This prostate massager is considered the Cadillac of anal playthings, mostly because of its expert craftsmanship but also because of its dream-worthy features. With a velvety-smooth silicone finish, this 6-function p-spot vibrator features ergonomic button controls via its wireless remote with similar properties. By the way, the remote can provide external stimulation while the device is lodged in the anus. This newbie-friendly sex toy measures 5.5 inches in insertable length and offers just under 4 inches in girth. It also has dual curved prongs – one for your prostate and another for your perineum. Well-rounded and made with anatomic precision, the Lelo Hugo is rechargeable, waterproof, and extremely quiet to boot.
PRO: It has motion activated sensors that can be turns on or off, and it offers a 2-hour run time on a fully charged battery.
CON: The wireless remote control requires its own power source via two (2) AAA batteries.
As a sexy set of anal beads, you’d probably expect less than what you get from the b-Vibe Cinco. This remote controlled string is primo for so many reasons. With five flexible, tapered beads and an easy-grip handle, the triple motors rumble at the command of the wireless controller that works up to 30 feet away. It offers 15 distinct vibe patterns at 6 different levels and the whole thing is made out of silky-soft skin-safe silicone that contains no harmful chemicals. It’s USB rechargeable, runs for up to an hour on a single use, and measures a body-friendly 7.4 inches in insertable length (with a circumference of 3.9 inches at its widest point).
PRO: It comes with its own discreet travel case and a 1-year warranty from the manufacturer.
CON: The Battery Level Indicator flashes when it’s time to charge which is nice, but it warns you way too soon.
Fun Factory Cobra Libre II
Inventive and quirky, the Fun Factory brand is all about producing male sex toys that instantly instigate a good time. Fortunately, their pride and joy, the Cobra Libre II, is no exception. This luxury-grade silicone vibrator for men is designed to stimulate the penile glans and frenulum for a revolutionary session that’s versatile enough for stamina trainers and casual masturbators plus ergonomic enough for users with mobility limitations. With a silicone sleeve and a USB rechargeable battery, this bad boy offers 3.5 insertable inches of corona-pleasing fun and 2 inches of girth. It offers several vibe speeds and patterns to explore and the contraption can be pumped at different angles for a fully customized playtime.
PRO: It’s completely waterproof for aquatic adventures and it runs with a super quiet motor that’s ultra-discreet.
CON: It doesn’t offer stimulation to the entire shaft, which may not do the trick for some men.
Hot Octopuss Pulse III
This little number is actually the third of its kind – a revolutionary concept introduced to the market just a few years ago, with a following of millions and a bunch of reasons why. The newest Hot Octopuss Pulse offers 25% more power than its two predecessors, plus it uses high-tech magnetic charging to amp up the turbo mode which takes you from 0 to 60 in a heartbeat. A set of expanding wings on springs sets your soul on fire, featuring a durable skin-safe outer casing that can accommodate any sized penis. Using the brand’s patented Pulse Plate Technology, this bad boy disperses intense vibes along the full length of your shaft and can be used whether your dick is either flaccid or erect.
PRO: It has 5 different vibration modes to choose from and is completely waterproof for tons of aquatic fun.
CON: The texture of the canal may not be stimulating enough for some men.
Fun Factory Manta
As one of the most unique male masturbation devices on the market, the versatile and powerful Manta by Fun Factory is like nothing you’ve ever seen before. It’s a wrench-like vibrator that makes penile pleasure more convenient than ever. Designed for solo artists and/or couples, this amazing machine makes the perfect blowjob accessory with a sleek shape, 6 vibe speeds, 6 patterns, and a set of ridges to hold lube while you manually stroke the bone. Ideal for use during intercourse too, enjoy the travel-friendly features while you generate harder and stronger orgasms.
PRO: It has an ergonomic handle for a more secure grip and can offer targeted stimulation to any part of the body (not just the penis).
CON: It does not provide whole-shaft pleasure like a full-sized male masturbator.
Kiiroo Titan Feel Porn Stars Experience
Made by one of the best brands in the industry, the Kiiroo Titan FPS is more than a sex toy for men. It’s literally an experience for your dick. Featuring a sleek, touch-sensitive control pad that operates the 9 vibrating bullets which act individually or in unison, users can explore 6 powerful vibration modes as they pump their penis through a luxuriously textured sleeve which utilizes the brand’s patented “Real Feel” material. Connected to the interactive online platform, you get to “experience” the sensations of fucking a real K.E.G. (Kiiroo Experience Girl) and the entire machine is lightweight, ergonomically sound and USB rechargeable.
PRO: The online content includes over 4,000 2D or virtual reality movies, videos and clips which feature some of the world’s hottest porn stars, plus you get 1,500 free coins when you register your device at FeelPornStars.com.
CON: It only runs for about a half hour when the battery is full, and it may be a little too noisy for some users.
CyberSkin Twerking Butt Elite
Your dirty little dreams can finally come true thanks to this life-sized, app-compatible pussy and ass. Take masturbation the extra “Mile-y” by switching on the sexy twerking action. Add realism to the mix with the self-heating twin canals and multi-speed vibration functions. Truly a work of perverted art, the CyberSkin Twerking Butt Elite features all the curves and detailing you’d want, including labial folds, anal wrinkling and ribbed textures inside each canal. Download the app and start thrusting to your favorite movies or music with the included 3D VR headset
PRO: This amazing sex toy comes with a free packet of personal lubricant, some product renewal powder, a cleaning hose and a discreet storage bag to get you started.
CON: It has a canal diameter of only .25 inches and an insertable depth that may not be suitable for men with extra-long penises.
The End Game
Getting the most for your masturbatory buck is a big deal, especially when you’re in desperate need of some help in the bedroom. Gone are the days of having only one or two choices. Modern problems require modern solutions, which is why the male sex toy industry has exploded so quickly over the last few decades. But left with more options than we know what to do with, finding the perfect product can be tough these day. All too often, we let clever advertisements tell us what to think and believe. Male sex toy ownership is a very personal thing, which means the toy that works for someone else may not work at all for you. Know thyself, and don’t be ashamed of what it takes to get yourself off. We’re all different, but the only thing that matters here is that you find a product which provides a safe and satisfying sexual experience for you and/or your partner (hopefully more than once). If that takes an automatic machine with Bluetooth and virtual reality capabilities, then so be it. Men have feelings too, even if it’s concentrated primarily in their penis.
I’m Rori. I’m glad you’re here with me on this crazy journey.
Since this is a sex blog, most of the content relates to the men (and women) in my life. I’ve divided my life over the last five years into little “chapters” to help you catch up on the story and the cast of characters involved.