Because “Cumming to Conclusions” Should Mean Something Different Entirely.
My biggest concern when trying dildos for the first time was based on the same common misconception that haunts many of us. I was afraid my hole would stretch to the point of no return, so I stuck with small sex toys until they were no longer effective. Over time, my appetites for extreme sex and masturbation took over my life and I could no longer play with such childish things as bullet vibrators and traditional dildos. There was only one answer and it blew up my expectations in a very literal way.
Once I started incorporating inflatable dildos into my sex life, things were never quite the same. Having been prisoner to whatever the sex toy industry deemed sizeable for my unique orifices, inflatable dildos made me feel free for the first time in years. At first, I only used them in the privacy of my own home during solo masturbation missions. But soon, my curiosities took me into the bedrooms for lusty lovers who had no idea the kind of freak they’d invited home. At this point, my expertise in inflatable dildos is second only to my undeniable perversion and general obsession with sex toys and that’s saying quite a lot. After all, I review sex toys and write sex toy buyer’s guides for a living, but I digress.
One thing I’ve learned along the way: Do not, under any circumstances, purchase an inflatable dildo without being extremely cautious about certain things. And since there are no classes on this subject and the legitimacy of the sex toy industry relies on good information, it’s important to use a concise buyer’s guide (like this one) to avoid getting ripped off or being disappointed by these devices in general. Good inflatable dildos aren’t intimidating unless you want them to be, and they’re not difficult to use or maintain either. So, how do you if you have a decent model on the brain? Let’s begin with a brief lesson on what we’re talking about and they we’ll get down to business.
- What Is an Inflatable Dildo?
- Why Use an Inflatable Dildo Though?
- The Top 5 Ways to Tell If That Inflatable Dildo Is Worth It or Not
- The Three Kings: My Top 3 Best Inflatable Dildos On The Market In 2020:
- BEST OVERALL: The Deuce Double Penetration Inflatable Dildo and Butt Plug
- BEST FOR BEGINNERS: Extra Girthy Inflatable G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator
- BEST FOR PROS: The Cock Locker Inflatable Monster
- The End Game
What Is an Inflatable Dildo?
Put simply, an inflatable dildo is just a dildo that gets bigger or smaller while inside your body depending on how you use the attached pump. They come in all shapes and sizes, with a wide variety of pump styles ranging from integrated air bladders to detachable handballs. Most are made for vaginal stimulation, but many can be used anally as well. Some of the better models even come with dual stimulation abilities in the form of compatible butt plugs or rabbit vibrators, making them the most versatile sex toy on the entire market. Generally speaking, however, inflatable dildos are not for everybody.
Why Use an Inflatable Dildo Though?
Inflatable dildos have a lot of practical purposes in the bedroom, despite their otherwise curious appearance and innovative functionality. This is especially true if size is a major factor for you when picking out a new sex toy. Unlike traditional dildos that are rigid in their overall size, inflatable models allow you to expand the insertable length and total girth while the toy is in use. Inflatable dildos therefore make ideals toys for these three types of people:
- Folks who enjoy large sex toys
- Those who need something for stretching and/or anal training
- Individuals who prefer to customize their sexual experience each time
Because inflatable dildos provide a tailored sex and/or masturbation session by their very nature, it’s almost impossible to get bored with one if you use it right. The ideal model not only fills all sexual desires but it also offers a wider range of possibilities than the traditional dildo does. Here are just three of the things you can do with an inflatable dildo that you could never do with a normal one:
- Stimulate the G-Spot/P-Spot Without Moving the Toy or Adding Vibration
An ergonomic inflatable dildo attacks the sweet spot with the least amount of effort on your part. Plus, it usually doesn’t require extra batteries and vibrating bullets are seldom used to get it done. So while many might think that the lack of vibrations makes an inflatable dildo less enjoyable, the fact of the matter is this: There’s an entire group of people who prefer not to add vibrations to their sex toys because it numbs out the nerve endings in their crotch, sometimes instantly. If you’re one of those people, you’re not alone. If you’re not one of those people, an inflatable dildo is still better for your body in the long-run since rapid movements and vibrations have both been linked to genital desensitization.
NOTE: One of the suggestions on my Three Kings list below features vibrations, just in case some of you are into that kind of thing.
- Wield the Power to Customize Each Experience with One Sex Toy
Rather than be limited by the one-size-fits-most propaganda, use an inflatable dildo to take back control of your body, your orgasms and your comfort zones. Well-made dildos of the inflatable sort have the power to shrink and grow as you see fit, giving you more options in the bedroom and more tools to act out pent-up sexual fantasies. Without having to purchase more than one sex toy, users are privy to several different “varieties” in a single dildo. Fun and frugal, inflatable dildos are saving people money, increasing people’s sexual appetites, making copulation customization a reality, and becoming a staple in the modern-day bedroom.
- Train Your Body to Accept What You Want the Most
Grow with your dildo, that’s what mama used to say. Or was it, “Let your dildo grow with you?” Either way, you can achieve your sexual goals with an inflatable dildo faster than you could with a XL traditional dildo, even if it was made out of 24-karat gold. The reason is because inflatable models can be increased in length and/or girth while on the inside or the outside of the wearer’s body. So whether the user wants to enjoy internal stimulation or train an orifice to take bigger deliveries, an inflatable dildo is ready and willing to get the job done, no questions asked. Best of all, most of the best models are manually operated, meaning control is easy and exploration is fun.
High-quality inflatable dildos don’t look too much different than a traditional model and often have lifelike features that resemble a real human penis. They’re relatively easy to clean, simple to store, and don’t always require assembly for the pump. Furthermore, they’re generally made out of skin-safe materials that can be used with almost any kind of water-based personal lubricant, making them an extremely user-friendly option that assimilates perfectly into your existing sex toy collection. Overall, inflatable dildos deserve a lot more respect than we’re currently giving them. In fact, sex experts often recommend inflatable dildos to people who are new to the whole sex toy thing because of their ability to adjust to the person’s specific needs. Talk about a team player.
Meanwhile, despite all the cohesion, it’s impossible to enjoy all the benefits of an inflatable dildo if you don’t know how to shop for a good one. Today’s sex toy manufacturers pull out all the stops to get that money out of your hands. Without a few guidelines, you’ll likely end up one of those poor bastards who tried an inflatable dildo and hated it. But to get all that an inflatable dildo has to offer, you must first understand a few things about yourself, your life and your lover. Go through the following checklist before moving on and answer each question as honestly as possible:
- What Is Your Skin Type?
- Do you and/or your lover have any skin sensitivities or allergies to certain materials?
- What Type of Sex Life Do You Have or Want?
- Will an inflatable dildo help you achieve your intimacy goals, and if so, how?
- What Limitations Need Considered?
- Do you prefer a specific starting size?
- Do you/your partner have any mobility problems?
- Do you plan to try something new with your inflatable dildo?
- What Is Your Budget?
- How much money can you afford to spend on this luxury purchase?
- Have you taken into consideration the cost of cleaning and maintaining your new sex toy?
- What Are Your Intentions?
- Will this sex toy be used primarily on you or your partner?
- Will it be used for vaginal or anal sex, or both?
You folks look ready to move on and start pinpointing the perfect inflatable dildo, am I right? Get our your pencil and paper, ladies and gentlemen, because I’m about to expand your horizons (and your genitals while I’m at it). It’s time to find out how the pros pick out their inflatable dildos.
The Top 5 Ways to Tell If That Inflatable Dildo Is Worth It or Not
It’s virtually impossible to tell some of these inflatable dildos apart, especially the models that are made from the same manufacturer. With extremely subtle differences that make an enormous impact, it pays to be a savvy shopper. So, how do you turn yourself into someone like that even if you’ve never shopped for an inflatable dildo before? Well, you can start by going through the following five things because they’re what everyone should look at or consider when picking out their first (or next) inflatable dildo:
- The Size
As with anything you plan to shove deep inside your body for the express purposes of sexual pleasure, the size matters quite a bit. When it comes to inflatable dildos, however, the overall dimensions of the toy itself are somewhat deceptive. For example, the “total length” listed on the description of an inflatable dildo usually doesn’t include the expanded size, nor does it give mention to the transformed girth. Intuitive manufacturers will provide both measurements for buyer accuracy, but don’t count on that being the norm. As a general rule, the average inflatable dildo usually starts out at about 4 to 6 inches in length and has about 1 to 3 inches in circumference.
- The Shape
Keep in mind that not all sex toys are made the same, and inflatable dildos are no exception. You’ll find hyper-realistic models as well as fantasy-based models all over the place, but knowing what you’re looking for can help you determine which one is right for your body type and sex life. Look for a shape that’s compatible with your intentions and g-spot/p-spot location. For example, inflatable dildos for vaginal use might look and function differently than inflatable dildos for anal use. Both kinds are bound to have unique texturing and user-friendly features, but they’re not all made to be interchangeable. The manufacturer can tell you anything, but the shape of the toy can tell you everything.
- The Materials
Inflatable dildos are a one-of-a-kind sex toy because they’re made to expand and contract based on the user’s preferences. However, that feature often requires special materials that can stretch and flex without sustaining damage. And while many manufacturers use state-of-the-art, skin-safe materials to make this happen, some are still guilty of adding potentially harmful products like parabens and phthalates because those ingredients significantly increase material elasticity. No matter what the price, though, always stick with inflatable dildos that are made out of industry-standard, hypoallergenic materials such as silicone, TPE, PVC, polycarbonate, elastomer or a patented skin-like substance developed exclusively by the maker. Otherwise, you’ll be left explaining a funky rash between your legs.
- The Features
Today’s best inflatable dildos are made with a ton of user-friendly features and crafted using highly researched ergonomics for maximum pleasure. However, there’s no such thing as a sex toy with zero flaws, nor is there an inflatable dildo in existence that’s perfect for every person on the planet. Knowing what you want and need is the first step, so do you want a product that’s highly realistic with a pronounced head and a set of textured balls or do you prefer something a little less human-like with a smooth shaft and fantasy-based dimensions? These things come in all shapes and sizes, with a variety of features to match. So look for a model that works well with your existing sex life and don’t settle for second best.
- The Manufacturer
Although there are countless sex toy manufacturers, only a few have earned a top-rated reputation. However, even some of the lesser known manufacturers offer high-end products at affordable prices. Moral of the story: Brand name isn’t the only thing you should be worried about. Either read a few customer reviews or research the company to find out more about their production methods and business ethics. If they can promise high-quality products and will deliver those products discreetly, you’ll likely have a good experience with their sex toy. If little information can be found or if you keep reading negative reviews, move along to a manufacturer who’s more worried about kissing your ass than taking your money.
NOTE: Some manufacturers not only offer intermittent sales and special discounts but they also provide customers with excellent service and product guarantees. Try to do business with those folks only.
Being as the modern-day sex toy market is so entrenched with options, it’s extremely difficult to pick out the perfect inflatable dildo in a single pass. If you have to go through the checklist above several times to narrow down your search, so be it. The point is to prevent those clever marketers from stealing your hard-earned dough in exchange for a product that does you and/or your partner no good. Hit ’em where it hurts by making them work for your money.
The Three Kings: My Top 3 Best Inflatable Dildos On The Market In 2020:
I know how hard it can be to select the right sex toy, especially when it comes to a customizable one that grows and shrinks while inside your body. Inflatable dildos are one-of-a-kind in the sex toy world, but many of them are quite the same in design and functionality. So in case the checklist above didn’t help you find what you want, here are my three favorite models on full display (complete with an inevitable “con” for you to consider).
BEST OVERALL: The Deuce Double Penetration Inflatable Dildo and Butt Plug
This versatile bad boy can be used by yourself or with a partner in a wide variety of ways. With one end an inflatable dildo and the other end an inflatable butt plug, this bi-polar sex toy offers is a love life luxury that can scarcely be beat. With the delicious Deuce, you get the kind of vaginal and/or anal stimulation that’s only been dreamed about, wth approximately 8.5 inches of total length and about 2.25 inches of total girth at full expansion. As for the anal plug, it measures 6 inches in length and expands to 2.5 inches in diameter for a p-spot subduing sensation that pairs nicely with masturbation and alternative penetration. Both the dildo and the plug feature a hard core, are inflated using the same handball pump, and feature a soft, texturized finish that feels like the best dick you’ve ever encountered.
Pro: It can be used for double penetration, single penetration, couple’s play or solo missions and everything in between with a quick release valve for safety.
Con: This inflatable dildo combo contains latex so it may not be appropriate for people with an allergy or sensitivity to that material.
BEST FOR BEGINNERS: Extra Girthy Inflatable G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator
Did you know that the human body relaxes and the vaginal canal opens up when a woman has an orgasm? Did you also know that the Extra Girthy Inflatable G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator is a dildo that encourages a clitoral climax while coaxing the vaginal canal to stretch without pain or discomfort? Ideal for beginners in training and members of the clit clan, this extra sexy. . .I mean extra girthy inflatable dildo is the only one of its kind. With an integrated optional vibration function that features a 3-speed/4-pattern motor channeled through a traditional rabbit clitoral stimulator, the non-intimidating structure and quaint color of this device increases the user’s pleasure tremendously. Work your way up to larger toy sizes with this perfectly ergonomic, manually pumped dildo featuring a convenient quick-release valve, 3.5 inches in starting circumference (9 in total), 6 inches in starting length (8 inches in total), a built-in user interface, and a body-safe coat of silky-smooth silicone just for good measure.
Pro: Surprisingly, the Extra Girthy Rabbit is 100% waterproof, meaning it’s safe for those “extracurricular aquatic activities” you’ve been enjoying.
Con: The vibration function requires 2 AAA batteries (not included), plus the cord between the dildo and the pump is neither long nor incredibly flexible.
BEST FOR PROS: The Cock Locker Inflatable Monster
For an inflatable dildo of massive proportions the Cock Locker Inflatable Monster is surprisingly realistic, with a pronounced corona, a thick urethra, a shaft full of interwoven veins and 11 inches of plump penile penetration to explore. Hailed as “More fun than a bouncy castle” by the manufacturer, this monster dong has a resting size of 9 inches in circumference and a 10.75 inches in insertable length. Blown up to full capacity, it offers an formidable 12 inches in circumference and a whopping 11.25 inches in insertable length. Deflate it with the convenient twist valve on the air bladder-palm pump combo on the bottom of the device (which resembles a pair of smooth, emptied balls in my opinion). This bad boy is also made from skin-safe, latex-free rubber and features no core for better flexibility and easy, comfortable insertion.
Pro: It’s 100% waterproof and has the most realistic appearance of any inflatable dildo on the market.
Con: It may be too large for some users and it’s no harness compatible because of the position of the air pump.
The End Game
I’ll be the first to admit that picking out a new inflatable dildo isn’t easy. Not only are there tons of options but the models available are either extremely similar or so vastly different that it can feel impossible to select the right one. Just remember that no two inflatable dildos are the same, even if they look and function alike. The important thing is that the model you choose is able to provide you and/or your partner with a safe and satisfying sexual experience (hopefully more than once). If that takes a 12-inch inflatable dildo with a bulbous head, a veiny shaft, and a conveniently placed quick-release valve just in case you go overboard, then so be it. You don’t have to decide on a dildo size when the ball is in your court, or should I say, when the pump is in your hand.
I’m Rori. I’m glad you’re here with me on this crazy journey.
Since this is a sex blog, most of the content relates to the men (and women) in my life. I’ve divided my life over the last five years into little “chapters” to help you catch up on the story and the cast of characters involved.